The Time For Action
by Fingersnaps
Summary: This is the concluding story in an arc that began with The Rock Remains and explores the consequences of Tim being accused of a terrible crime. Mentions child abuse, but there are no graphic descriptions.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a story about Timothy McGee, in a particular story universe where he has suffered extreme trauma, both physical and mental...it in no way reflects on the actor who portrays that character.

Timothy McGee was exhausted; so tired that he could barely turn the key in the door of his apartment...he was home. Better than that, so was Ziva; they had found her at last and brought her back to DC. He could barely believe that only yesterday he was lying on the floor of a cell in Somalia. the last few hours had passed in a blur of medical assessments, airports, flights, and finally that welcome back into the squad room; he hadn't been expecting that, being the centre of attention was the last thing he wanted, so he stood aside and let the others take the applause.

Now he was home, and there was one thing he had to do before he got in the shower and tried to wash more of that desert sand away. He switched on his computer, and waited impatiently for his system to boot-up...he had set up a Bot to trawl the internet, searching for the video footage of the attack on him earlier in the year. So far, there had been no hits, but he couldn't take the chance that somewhere out there someone was watching him being kicked and beaten...that someone would believe the evil lies those men screamed at him as he lay on the ground.

Abby had pleaded with Tim not to watch, but he had to see; he remembered some of the attack, but there were holes in his memory, and he managed to convince himself that the reality couldn't be as bad as what he had been imagining; he'd been wrong. It had taken him four attempts to watch if through to the end without dashing to the men's room to throw up...but at least he knew what they had done to him. Now he couldn't forget, and he lived in dread that there were others out there that had also seen those pictures.

He shivered...time to get in the shower, and then try to get some sleep.

After a long, hot shower he was feeling almost human again, he was brushing his teeth and looking forward to lying in his own bed for the first time in days, when he caught sight of his face in the mirror. He looked...different, it wasn't just the cuts and bruises; his face was a little thinner...Tim knew he hadn't been eating as much as usual since he'd been released from hospital, he just didn't seem to have much of an appetite. The result was there for all to see, no wonder he had to fasten his belts a little tighter these days, he hadn't been paying attention, but he had lost quite a bit of weight.

He looked closer at the man in the mirror, the man who spent every day worrying that someone would recognise him from that internet footage. Who worried every day that he would be accused once more of abusing children...but what if he didn't look like that man any longer? He was already losing the rounded features he'd had all his life, maybe if he lost even more weight, he would look less and less like the guy being kicked into oblivion...He'd managed to lose weight without even trying...think how much more successful he could be if he worked at this...

Tim got into bed and switched off the light; lying there in the dark, in the comfort of his own bed, he knew sleep would be a long time coming, it always was. However, tonight he was a little more relaxed; not only was Ziva home, but he may have found a way to stop constantly looking over his shoulder, waiting for the pointing fingers...all he had to do was lose more weight, how hard could it be?


	2. Chapter 2

Tim got up early next morning; he'd managed almost four hours sleep last night, and that was pretty good. He didn't need to be up this early; Director Vance had told them all to take the day off, but he was wide awake, so Tim figured he might as well get started on clearing out his kitchen cupboards…There was too much junk in there, cookies, dressings, soda; and in the freezer, frozen pizza, burgers, fries...Tim wasn't going to throw good food away, so he packed everything into his car and drove to Progress Place, where they served meals for the homeless. The Porsche was gone; he couldn't imagine ever being able to drive that again, too many bad memories…when he got back from his parents' he'd traded it for a Prius; another new start, and he was happy enough with the car, got him from A to B reliably, didn't draw any unwanted attention, exactly what he wanted right now.

It seemed to Tim that he'd been making new starts for months…Starting back at NCIS after the initial charges, starting to build bridges with Gibbs and Tony, starting to face the world again. Then there was the attack; hospitalisation…start again to regain his fitness, wait for the wounds to heal, the physical wounds, start rehab…off to San Diego, start to put himself back together using his parent's strength to get him through the days…and the nights. The nights were the hardest, he'd spend hours trying to sleep, then the chills would wake him, and he'd find himself shivering in a pool of sweat, waiting for the next blow to fall, the next scream of invective to echo around his head…his Mom would hold him, and his Dad would go for dry bed linen, a drink for Tim, anything practical; his Dad was better with practical things, but Tim knew that if he could he would take the hurt on his own shoulders, relieve his son of this terrible burden. And there were days when Tim wished he could offload the weight of fear…he wasn't going to delude himself, he was afraid, scared beyond reason that he'd be walking down the street one day and someone would shout out. 'Stop him! That man preys on children, lock him away!' How did you tell your Mom and Dad about that? You didn't, you kept it to yourself, and spent another sleepless night…

The day he told them he was going back to DC he could see the doubt in their eyes.

"Tim, are you sure? Director Vance said you could take as much time as you need…your Dad and I…well, we're worried about you."

He'd leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Mom, you've worried about Sarah and me since the day we were born…They won't put me back on field duties if they don't think I'm fit, so there's nothing to worry about, and Ducky has a therapist lined up for me…I'm going to be fine, I promise!"

When he said that he really thought it could be true, but as the weeks went by, and he was cleared for duty, so long as he continued his therapy sessions; he wasn't sure he was doing fine…work was okay most of the time, it was when he left work that his problems started. He had too much time to think…the others asked him out a few times, but he was too nervous around strangers and was happier going right home…after a while they stopped asking…

He had meant what he said about helping people, making a difference, but it was so hard. That first time when he came back to work it was only people in law enforcement who had known about his arrest and the false accusations against him. This time…it was out there, and there was no way of stopping it, no way of saying… 'It was all lies, I didn't do it!', so he had to try and live with it, hide his fear and get through the days. When he was working he could forget about everything else, focus on the case; but when he was away from NCIS…he was only just holding it together…

Then Ziva left, and for a while his world felt as if it had fallen apart; he had been shattered…his beacon of hope, his saviour; and she left without a word. For a few days he was afraid he was going to fall apart. She had promised to be there for him, and she had walked away without a backward glance. Then there were the months of silence; of not knowing whether she was alive or dead...He refused to believe that she was gone forever, he couldn't let himself believe that, they had to find her; even if she didn't want to come back to NCIS, he had to know that she was safe.

When they had levelled those terrible accusations at him Ziva had gone out on a limb on his behalf, she had held fast to her belief in his innocence, gone up against Gibbs...he couldn't give up on her.

He had made it through those first weeks without her, but only just. There had been days when he wanted to hide away from everyone, to tell them to stop looking at him as if he was going to break down any minute; truth was, that was exactly how he felt. Ziva had gone, leaving him alone to deal with the pitying glances, the questioning looks, the moments of fear when he thought a total stranger had recognised him.

That constant nagging fear, it was like a toothache that wouldn't go away. It was debilitating, the tension making it almost impossible for him to relax except in his own home...and even then the memory of that video footage and the knowledge that it could be out there on someone's hard drive prevented him from ever being fully at rest.

He was trying to open up to his therapist; Sally Lane was a good doctor, and she had his best interests at heart, but there was still a barrier between them, and he knew it was his fault. She wanted him to talk, not just about the attack, he could deal with that, but when she asked him to talk about how he felt about his co-workers reactions to the initial charges. That was when the barriers went up; even in his own head he couldn't truly articulate his feelings about those events. Ziva had stood by him, everyone else he thought knew him better that anyone outside his family, they had believed those filthy lies...how on earth was he supposed to talk to anyone about that? When Ziva went, he missed a couple of sessions, it was wrong, he knew that; but he didn't think he could get through a session without breaking down...he needed some time alone to come to terms with life without Ziva...

Then an incredible thing happened, quietly, almost without Tim noticing, Tony's attitude toward him started to change. They did things together, went out to dinner, worked closer than ever, they became real partners. Tim started to think less about those dark days when Tony stood by Gibbs and let Fornell take him away, and more about who they were now. They were good together, but they wanted Ziva back; Abby did too, they weren't a team without her. So they started to search, and finally they found her, and with Gibbs' help they got her home.

Tim woke with a start, he hadn't even realised he'd fallen asleep, it was still light outside, he must have dozed off after putting his groceries away. He'd been shopping for low fat alternatives for his normal staple foodstuffs, zero calorie drinks, and bottled water now filled his refrigerator, he'd already tried a few cups of black coffee without sugar, it was certainly an acquired taste, but he would get used to it…he'd learned to get used to much worse things these last months. Tim checked his watch, it was after four, he'd slept through lunch so he might as well skip that now, have a salad later, get his gear ready for work tomorrow, and maybe try to write something. He knew work was going to be a much better place now, Ziva might not be back right away, but he had no doubt that she soon would be; they'd be a team again. Better even than that, he was starting to take action, to regain some control over his life; as he sat down at his typewriter for the first time in a long time, Tim felt a lightness of spirit he hadn't experienced since Ziva brought him the evidence that he knew would clear his name…This was a turning point; from here on in things were going to get better.


	3. Chapter 3

For a few weeks it looked as if his optimism was well founded. The team was gradually settling back into some kind of routine, even though Ziva wasn't cleared for full duties right away Tim had met her in the park, and after some initial awkwardness she had taken his hand in hers.

"I am sorry that I could not explain to you what was happening, why I had to stay in Israel. I…it was complicated, Michael was dead, Tony…well, you know about Tony…my father, he is a strong man; all my life I have done as he told me, without question…"

"Ziva, you don't have to apologise to me, I…I was, things weren't great, but you should never have to say sorry to me...you helped me, more than you could ever know."

"But I left you Tim, and that made you sad, yes?"

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Can't deny that…I missed you so much. And I'm selfish enough to wish that you could have stayed here, but your first duty has to be to your father, I see that now."

He saw a shadow cross her face.

"My first duty…perhaps not for much longer…"

She wouldn't, maybe couldn't elaborate, and Tim let it drop. So long as she was staying, and she had told him she wanted that more than anything, then he could leave her with her secrets.

Things soon got back into a routine; they'd all been debriefed on the Somalia operation, started work again and things were going pretty smoothly. Tim was getting used to his new diet, he certainly wasn't enjoying everything he was eating these days, but the weight was coming off, gradually and slowly, he was being careful not to do anything too drastic, he didn't want the others picking up on what he was doing…it could lead to too many questions that he wasn't prepared to answer right now.

Then his carefully laid plans were almost derailed…He'd been caught, along with Tony, trespassing in the Metro PD impound, and they'd been arrested.

He was pacing back and forth in the holding cell.

"You doing okay Tim?"

Tony could see the sheen of sweat on Tim's face, and he prayed that Gibbs was doing everything he could to get them out of here.

"Not so good Tony…do you think we'll be in here much longer? I feel…I need to get out…"

Tony stood directly in front of Tim, halting the pacing, and put his hands on his shoulders.

"Hold it together a bit longer…Gibbs won't let them keep us here, you know that, right?"

"Do I Tony? He did before…"

Tony, wisecracking, answer for everything Tony, didn't have a come-back for that. After all, it was true.

"Man, I'm sor..."

"Don't Tony, don't say sorry; we said we were done with apologies."

"That was before we ended up here..."

"Not your fault, it was my idea to get the GPS data from Burns' car."

Tim suddenly seemed to run out of energy and he slumped onto the bench; Tony sat down beside him.

"It won't be long Tim, we'll be okay, you and me chilling here; we'll be okay."

Tim managed to hold it together for the duration of the case, he had work to do, and that kept him fully occupied. He knew there would be a reaction to his brief incarceration, so he refused the offer of dinner at Ziva's and spent the evening alone. Every member of the team called him that night, but he gave them his best 'I'm over it, not a problem, everything is fine,' act; and for the most part he was pretty convincing. He didn't want to see anyone, because there was no way to disguise the fact that he was close to breaking point. He had only just made it to the bathroom when he got home, and he vomited back the meagre contents of his stomach. Tim had spent the rest of the evening huddled on his bed, hiding under the bedclothes; answering his phone, telling lies…he hated lying, but why burden anyone else with this? He had to learn to deal with these setbacks, and he would; he just needed to be stronger, to show more backbone. He looked back at what his team mates had dealt with in their lives, Gibbs losing his family, Tony almost lost his life during the Grenouille undercover operation, did lose a little of his heart, and Ziva…he didn't even want to imagine what Ziva had learned to come to terms with in her life…if they could all deal with that and carry on working, he could get through this.

The next few weeks found the team, and this time it was the full team, involved in a number of unusual cases; some that came pretty close to home too. They had discovered the truth behind Ziva's mission to Africa; a mission that turned out to be her last as a Mossad operative.

"You see why I could not tell you Tim; what my father did, the way I let him use me…the lies…all my life I have lived with those lies, but no more."

She gave a broad smile that was matched by Tim.

"Your application has been approved?"

"Yes! I am officially a probationary NCIS agent."

Tim leaned across and kissed her cheek, and she put her arms round him, and gave him a hug.

"Are you still dieting Tim?"

He blushed a little, no use trying to avoid the issue.

"Off and on Ziva, just trying to cut out the junk."

"It suits you, makes you even more handsome, Tony will be jealous."

Tim gave a quiet laugh.

"I don't think Tony's even noticed a difference."

"Oh, I assure you he has…because he has not mentioned anything does not mean he has not noticed."

After that they were kept on their toes as cases piled up thick and fast; Tim was pleased that they were busy; every minute he was working was a minute less to be worrying…he still checked his computer every night. But he had started to go out occasionally; to a concert with Abby, it was easy to lose yourself in the audience; or he'd go for a movie night at Tony's, dinner at Ziva's. He still felt easier if he was out of the public eye, but little by little he was getting back something resembling a social life, his confidence around strangers was increasing slowly.

Which was why he accepted the obvious invitation from the vivacious woman who helped him with his coffee order one morning; when she put her number in his phone, he knew that this time he was going to call. For a short time he was happy…a very short time; then he was betrayed again. She had only been interested in him as a way to get information on the whereabouts of a suspect. Amanda, no Julia, he had to get used to thinking of her as Julia; she would have killed him…another person in his life that he thought he could trust, and she would have ended his life without a second's hesitation…

He wanted to shut himself away after that; Tony thought he was joking about joining a monastery, but there were times when Tim would have liked nothing more than to hide away forever. That wasn't going to happen; Gibbs got him back to work, and yet again he tried to regain some semblance of normality in his life. Normal…he hardly remembered what that felt like any more; was it normal to want to change the way you look so that no one mistook you for a pervert? Was it normal to shut yourself away every night in case you were recognised? Tim figured that it would be the norm for him for the foreseeable future, so he threw himself with renewed vigour into his work, tried to write…to put on paper what he couldn't bring himself to say aloud…how he felt about the way his life had changed.

A week later he was in the squad room typing up a report when Ziva leaned on his desk and waited for him to look her in the eye.

"Something you need Ziva?"

"Just to know how you are doing today."

"Fine…why shouldn't I be?"

She gave him the gentlest of head slaps.

"Do not pretend with me, I can read a calendar, it is twelve months today since…"

"My life went into freefall…I know. Thanks for asking Ziva, but I am okay…trying to treat it like any other day. Don't remind the others will you?"

"Oh, Timothy McGee, have you not noticed Gibbs and Tony walking on egg whites all morning."

He smiled at her deliberate 'mistake'.

"Egg shells, as you very well know Agent David…I hadn't noticed; too wrapped up in myself today I guess. Tell them it's okay, let's try to treat it like any other day."

"If that is what you want."

"It is; and Ziva...thanks for asking."

She kissed his cheek.

"You are most welcome Tim, now I should get back to my desk, we have work to do, correct?"

"Absolutely."

And one by one the days ticked by, and the weight came off.

Before he knew it the Holiday season had arrived. His Mom and Dad wanted him to go home for Christmas, and Gibbs had given him permission, so long as they didn't have a case….Tim hoped they got a case…he knew his Mom would not be happy with the amount of weight he had lost.

In the end he didn't have to go, they caught cases that kept them busy from Thanksgiving through to New Year. Tony finally admitted that he had noticed Tim's weight loss, but he made a joke out of it, and that suited Tim perfectly, the longer it was a joke, or only mentioned in passing, the longer he could keep his real reasons for his dieting to himself…Ducky believed his white lie about putting on weight over the Holidays and they moved on to talk about an invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner at Ducky's. Tim was supposed to be having dinner with Sarah, but she hadn't sounded entirely surprised when he told her he couldn't make it…he wasn't being much of a big brother right now, he'd cancelled lots of meetings lately, he didn't want her being drawn into anything if he was recognised when they were out together. So Sarah was moving away from him...getting closer to her college friends, that was only to be expected, and he was happy for her, but sad for himself; he missed their time together.

Dinner at Ducky's had been good, and he'd made sure to eat everything that was put in front of him, didn't want his diet to be the topic of conversation, and it was easy enough not to each much for the next few days…make up for the overindulgence.

Tim had stayed home for New Year, but he had accepted an invitation for lunch with Jimmy the next day. They had become closer during the last twelve months; Jimmy had seen him at his lowest ebb, and Tim would always be grateful for the understated way that Jimmy had helped him, and the quiet understanding that he had shown since; maybe they could have been closer friends still, but Tim held back, he didn't want to drag anyone into his own mess.

"So, a new girlfriend…she certainly seems to be making you happy Jimmy."

The Cheshire cat grin from his companion demonstrated just how happy he was.

"She's beautiful, inside as well as out. You should meet her, we could all go out for dinner, ask Abby if she'd like to come along."

Tim wasn't sure, he would like to meet Jimmy's girl, but…he was about to ask for a rain check when a group of diners making their way out of the bistro stopped by their table

"Hey! I was right, it is him! Look, told you I recognised him!"


	4. Chapter 4

Tim cringed back in the booth; it was happening at last, the thing he had been dreading, someone had seen the video...Jimmy was on his feet, ready to defend his friend if necessary; the stranger wasn't finished.

"I have your books...Thom E. Gemcity; see Tina, I told you it was definitely him. Could you sign something for me?"

Tim didn't hear the question; all he could hear was someone saying they recognised him...how could that happen? He had lost eighteen pounds...when he looked in the mirror he saw a different man to the one he had been last year, how could this guy still know who he was?

"I'm sorry...you must have the wrong person..."

"No way! You look a little thinner, but I recognise you from your picture on iRock Hollow/i...come on man, all I'm asking for is an autograph."

He leaned across the table and thrust a pen and paper napkin toward Tim, Jimmy watched his friend flinch back in his seat.

"It's okay Tim; I'll take care of this. Listen people, my friend isn't feeling so good, maybe if you wrote to his publisher, you could get a signed photograph."

"Isn't that just typical! They want you when you're buying their books, but the minute you ask them for one tiny thing..."

Jimmy stepped out of the booth and stood toe to toe with the aggrieved autograph hunter.

" I don't want to appear rude, but like I said, my friend isn't feeling too good; please leave him alone...and one more thing, I'm a medical examiner; I know where every pain receptor in the human body is located. Would you like me to show you?"

Judging by the speed of their exit none of them wanted to broaden that particular area of their education.

When they were gone Jimmy took Tim home.

"Do you want me to stay Tim, or call someone?"

"No thanks...sorry I kind of went to pieces there."

"Don't worry Tim, they took you by surprise, you'll be better prepared next time."

"We'll see...thanks for your help Jimmy, and the lift...Jimmy, do you think we could keep this just between us... don't want to make a big deal out of it."

"Sure...if that's what you want."

"It is, thanks for everything, and I really am sorry you got caught up in that."

"You needn't be; get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow."

Once he was alone Tim sat at his computer and checked for any activity on his Bot, still nothing. He felt sick again, and dashed to the bathroom, as he washed his face he looked closely at the man in the mirror, maybe he didn't look so different after all. Still too much excess fat...he'd have to work harder on losing that, and faster than he had been. He couldn't take any more chances, next time he could be out alone; he didn't think he'd be able to deal with that.

Tim lay on his bed that night, and mapped out his future eating regimen, he could cut out the cereal at breakfast, just have fruit juice and coffee. Lunch was usually a small salad, but sometimes he had whatever the rest of the team was having, and that was inevitably full of calories; burritos, burgers, Chinese food...he'd have to come up with a plan to get out of that. The evenings wouldn't be a problem, unless they were working late on a case, he could come right home and have a fruit smoothie, or a can of low calorie soup. If he was really hungry he could try writing for a while, take his mind off his cravings, and then go to bed as early as necessary.

He should have thought of this before...he hadn't lost even a single pound for the last two weeks, no wonder that guy knew who he was...Tim relaxed at last, and allowed sleep to overtake him...he had a slight smile on his face, this was another new beginning, but he was ready for this one, ready and willing to embrace this new challenge.

It proved to be more difficult that he had imagined...going without food for most of the day, he was sure there were times when his growling stomach could be heard all around the squad room, but no one said anything, so he carried on. He managed to avoid most of the fat-fests that passed for lunch at NCIS, he told the others he was having lunch down in cyber-crimes, catching up with old colleagues, he went shopping, headed down to Abby's lab when he knew she wasn't there...anything to avoid lunch in the squad room. It was easy when it was his turn to buy, he got low-fat options, and no one complained, after all they knew he was trying to keep the weight off...

He kept at it for two weeks, and although the scales told him he was losing weight once more, he still couldn't detect any real change in his appearance, maybe he needed to do something more...

It was a bitter cold Monday morning when Ziva spotted Tim in the parking lot.

"Tim! Good morning...it is a cold one, is it not?"

"Sure is Ziva, let's get inside."

Once inside the building Ziva had her first chance to get a good look at her friend.

"Are you alright Tim? You look...are you unwell?"

"No, well, not now. I...I had stomach flu, spent most of Saturday throwing up...still feeling a bit...you know..."

She looked at him with renewed concern.

"You do not look well at all, are you sure you do not need to take a sick day?"

"No, I'm fine Ziva, just haven't been able to keep any food down for a day or so, I'll be better when I've had something to eat."

"Then I will get you whatever you would like."

Tim recognised his mistake immediately, he shouldn't have mentioned food.

"You know Ziva...I think I need to give my stomach time to get over this, maybe a milk shake would be good."

"You are sure? Perhaps you are right, we would not want to make you sick again...then a milk shake it is; what flavour would you like?"

"Strawberry would be good, but you don't have to get it...if you take my bag up to the squad room, I'll go get something for everyone."

Ziva had tried to protest, but Tim was insistent; after all if he went to the coffee shop, he could get exactly what he wanted, and that most definitely was not a strawberry milk shake. He was carrying the drinks back to NCIS when the thought occurred to him; he'd told another lie...he was getting too good at this.

He had spent most of Saturday throwing up, that was true, but he hadn't had stomach flu...

He was trying to find ways to accelerate his weight loss, so he'd spent Saturday plucking up the courage to make himself throw up. Tim had often made the fingers down the throat mime to indicate when something made him sick to his stomach, but he had never pictured himself kneeling in front of his toilet, trying to force his fingers down his throat for real...it worked too.

He promised himself, he wouldn't do this every day...only if he hadn't been able to skip a meal...

For the next two days he had to eat lunch with the team. Tuesday was his turn to buy, so that hadn't been too much of a problem, but on Wednesday they were out of the office conducting interviews. Tony insisted on them all trying out a great new Italian place he had found. Lunch had been amazing; Tim hadn't tasted anything as good as the spaghetti carbonara since...well since Thanksgiving, but he knew what he had to do. Before they headed back to the car, he made his excuses and visited the men's room, an action that did not go unnoticed...

Back in the squad room they were all busy typing up their reports from the morning interviews; Ziva was watching Tim closely, something was wrong...

"I need to check something with Abby."

Gibbs nodded briefly, and she hurried to the elevator. Ziva wasn't going to see Abby; the doors into Autopsy swished open and she glanced around the sterile room.

"Erm, hi Ziva...did you need something?"

"I was looking for Ducky; do you know where he is?"

"Sure, he went to see Abby; he shouldn't be long if you want to wait."

"I will catch up with him in the lab, thank you Jimmy."

The music was quieter than usual and Abby and Ducky were deep in conversation when Ziva entered the lab. Ducky was first to notice her.

"Ah, Ziva my dear, you find us in something of a quandary over this particular specimen, it's from an old case but we were hoping..."

"Ducky, I am sorry, but...have you seen Tim today?"

He shook his head, puzzled by Ziva's question and her worried expression.

"Not today no; in fact now I think of it, our paths haven't crossed for a few days...is there a problem?"

"I do not know. Abby, has he been here?"

"Not since...wait, it was Thursday, he hasn't been down here in almost a week, that's not like him."

"It is not...You ask if there is a problem, I do not know...Tim had stomach flu at the weekend, and I think he may have come back to work too soon, he looks...ill. Today, at lunch he went to the men's room, I think he was sick...would you take a look at him Ducky? Send him home if necessary, I have tried to speak to him, but he insists that everything is fine...he does not look 'fine'."

Ducky could see that she was worried.

"Why of course Ziva; no time like the present, let's take a look."

They made their way to the elevator, Abby close behind, there was no way she was missing out on seeing Tim right now.

"Come on McGenius; you're good at this stuff."

Tim glanced over at his team mate's desk, and couldn't help but smile at Tony's pleading look.

"Flattery isn't going to work Tony. Gibbs said you had to do your own reports, isn't that right Boss?"

As ever Gibbs had returned to the squad room unnoticed.

"Correct. You stay until they're done Tony, so get moving!"

"On it Boss!"

Tim ignored the glare that Tony cast in his direction and set about proof-reading his own work. The message alert dialogue box appeared on his screen, and without thinking Tim opened the email.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. No! No, no. This wasn't happening. Tim clicked Delete. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room... he had to get outside...couldn't breathe...he managed to push himself out of his chair to make for the stairs, but they seemed to be so far away...he couldn't see them...everything was blurred... then there was nothing but darkness...


	5. Chapter 5

Tony managed to catch Tim before he fell to the ground, and with Gibbs' help they laid him gently on the floor.

"Tony, get Ducky!"

"Ducky is here, what's wrong? Oh my! Ziva would you call Jimmy and have him bring my medical bag please?"

He knelt beside Tim, and in a single glance took in the gaunt features, the translucence of his skin, the purple shadows under his eyes, the dry lips.

"Timothy! Can you hear me? Come on lad, wake up…"

Tony watched, stunned by this turn of events, and remembering the last time he'd caught Tim as he fell…They'd been watching Neville's interrogation, and when it was all over Tim had fainted…he'd been sick then, a virus Ducky said, but from what Tony could recall Tim had looked better that day than he did right now.

"What happened Jethro?"

"He was finishing off his report, then he…I think he felt sick, he looked sick…"

"I think I may be able to shed some light Doctor Mallard."

Leon Vance had joined the group gathered around Tim.

"I just got an email from ZNN, asking me if I was prepared to talk, on the record about the possibility that a sexual predator is being employed by NCIS. They named Special Agent McGee, if they contacted him…"

Vance didn't need to continue, if that was indeed what had happened all of Tim's worst fears had come to pass, small wonder he had blacked out.

Jimmy rushed into the squad room; Ziva had said something was wrong with Tim. He briefly stopped in his tracks at the sight of so many people, including the Director gathered by Gibbs' desk. Then he saw Doctor Mallard kneeling by his friend and hurried to join him.

"Ah Jimmy, help me with his jacket, I want to get his blood pressure."

They slipped off Tim's jacket, and as Ducky rolled up his sleeve a collective gasp escaped the group, he was thin, not slim…but thin.

"Wha…leave me…I'm okay now…let me alone…"

"You are most certainly not 'okay' Timothy; you look like a wraith...whatever have you been doing to yourself?"

"N…nothing…can I get up now?"

"No you may not. Can someone get me a can of soda, not diet? When did you last have a proper meal?"

"L...lunch today."

"A meal that you kept down?"

Tim's brow furrowed as he tried to remember.

"I think...Friday..."

"And what did you have?"

"Soup."

"Just soup, no bread?"

Tim shook his head. He couldn't eat bread, way too many calories. Gibbs stooped beside Ducky and handed him a can of Coke.

"Help me to sit him up please Jethro. Here drink some of this."

Tim reluctantly took a few sips from the can, he knew it was pointless to refuse, and he was still feeling light headed, maybe a few sips wouldn't hurt. Gibbs held Tim's shoulders as he drank; he could feel the bone, barely covered by any flesh…how long had Tim been going without food?

"Good lad, feel a little better?"

Tim gave a brief nod.

"Can I get up now? I need…I think I was…my report…no...there was an email...

"We know Tim, leave it for now. Ducky, do you want an ambulance?"

"No Tony, but I do want to get him checked over, his blood pressure is way too low, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't dehydrated…and I want them to check on his weight."

Tim tried to pull away from Gibbs' grip, but he didn't seem to have the strength.

"No hospital, please…I've had enough of hospitals."

"It's purely a precaution Timothy, I want to put my mind at rest…tell me young man, how much do you weigh?"

"Me? I…don't…"

Tim's attempted denial died in his throat, what was the point? They would all know soon enough.

"One hundred and forty pounds...I only have a few more to go, then I'll stop…"

"You will stop right now! Don't you see? Your body is telling you that enough is enough."

Tim shook his head once more.

"It's never enough; they still know who I am."

Ziva held on tight to Tim's jacket, as she watched Ducky ministering to him she tried to remember when Tim had stopped wearing his smart tailored jackets, and gone back to the shapeless variety he used to wear, she also asked herself why she hadn't noticed. Not only the jackets, but also the fact that her friend was practically starving himself.

Abby wanted to grab Tim in her arms and hold him tight, to tell him that they wouldn't let anyone hurt him, but it was too late. He had already been hurt, and was suffering a torment beyond most people's comprehension.

"Tim..."

"Don't Abby...not right now..."

Vance moved closer to Ducky and gave a sigh as he looked at the young man who seemed to need every ounce of strength he had just to stay conscious.

"My driver is waiting to take you to the hospital; is there anything else you need Doctor Mallard?"

"I would like Jimmy to help me with Timothy, if you can spare us both?"

"Go ahead, and Agent McGee. Don't concern yourself with ZNN, we will deal with that."

Jimmy helped Tim to his feet, and guided his rather unsteady friend to the elevator. Ducky gathered up his bag and went to join them; Gibbs delayed him by placing a hand on his arm.

"Call us Duck."

"I will Jethro, never fear."

The squad room was quiet, unnaturally so as the elevator doors closed.

"When did he get so thin?"

"Didn't happen overnight Tony, and we missed it. How did we miss it? Abs, can you get that email back? Abby!"

She was staring at the elevator, Tim looked so sick...

"Oh...me, yes...sure I can."

She sat at Tim's desk and quickly retrieved the message from the Deleted Items folder.

"Put it on the plasma."

They all turned to the screen and read the message.

_Agent McGee_

_This office has received a DVD showing an assault on a man accused of preying on children using the internet. The footage will be aired on Friday's edition of The World This Week, it has been suggested that you are the man on the disc. We are giving you the opportunity to appear on the show and confirm or deny that you appear in this footage. _

_The video file is attached._

_Please reply to this email, or call my office at any time._

_Craig Hudson_

_Producer The World This Week_

"Holy crap...sorry Director; but this...small wonder Tim keeled over, he can't go on that show, having everyone looking at him..."

Tony ran out of words, how could he even begin to understand how Tim must feel about this?

"Leon, we have to put a stop to this."

"I'll do what I can Gibbs, but the best I'm likely to get is a postponement. ZNN think they have a big story, and they're not likely to let it go."

Ziva couldn't tear her eyes away from that message, how many more blows were to rain down on Tim?

"He is not a big story Director, he is a man who has been suffering in ways I cannot even contemplate for something he did not do, could never do...and I let him suffer alone..."

She felt an arm round her shoulders as Abby held her.

"Wasn't just you Ziva, I let him down too..."

Tony wasn't going to let that go.

"Seems to me we all let Tim down. I noticed he was wearing those baggy jackets again; didn't occur to me to ask why...I just ragged him over them and moved on...If I'd talked to him...maybe he wouldn't have passed out today."

"I think what we saw today was the culmination of weeks of self neglect Agent DiNozzo...neglect that we all failed to notice...Gibbs, will you keep me informed of McGee's condition? I will contact Mr Hudson; see what he has to say."

Vance headed up to his office and the others gradually got back to work. There was nothing more they could do until they heard from Ducky.

Tim was sitting up in bed, an IV delivering much needed nutrients and fluids, already Ducky thought he had a little more colour in his cheeks. Perhaps he had, or perhaps it was simply that Ducky wanted him to be looking better. He had been so worried on the drive over; Tim hadn't said a word, he stared out of the window looking so pale that Ducky thought he was likely to collapse again. Then when the doctor gave him the test results he had been angry. That a young man could treat himself so badly…potentially causing permanent damage to his own body; Ducky simply could not comprehend such actions. But…and this was a big but, nor could he comprehend what Tim had been going through for so many months.

"Timothy, what were you thinking? You're a scientist; you of all people should know the consequences of what you were doing."

"I wanted to be...not me..."

"Not you? I don't understand…"

Jimmy did, suddenly as if a veil had been lifted, he knew.

"Tim, is this to do with being recognised that time?"

Tim turned angrily to his friend.

"You said you'd keep it between us! Ducky doesn't need to know…"

"To know what Jimmy?"

Jimmy cast a pleading glance at Tim.

"I have to tell him Tim, I shouldn't have kept it to myself before. It was a few weeks ago Doctor Mallard, we were having lunch…someone recognised Tim, or Thom E Gemcity. Tim was…"

"You can say it Jimmy, I was scared."

Ducky's eyes opened wide, now he saw it too.

"Oh my dear boy! You thought they had recognised you from that hideous film?"

What little colour there had been in his cheeks seemed to disappear as Tim thought back to that day.

"Didn't even consider any other possibility…I've become so obsessed with people thinking I…you know…"

"I think I'm beginning to know Timothy…I'm going to call Jethro, let him know how you're getting on…they'll want to come and see you, are you up to that?"

Tim smiled ruefully.

"Might as well get it over with, and Jimmy...sorry I shouted before…none of this is your fault."

"Yes it is Tim; because I let you do this to yourself and didn't even see what you were doing."

Ducky left the two of them together and went out into the corridor to call Jethro. As expected there were expressions of guilt and shock as they learned just how sick Tim had become.

"He is dehydrated, woefully underweight of course. His blood pressure was 60 over 45 when he was admitted, honestly Jethro it's a wonder he didn't pass out earlier…he has low blood sugar, hypokalemia, sorry, that's low potassium concentration…they have him on IV electrolytes and fluids, and he's looking a little better already."

"Is there a but in there somewhere Duck?"

"I fear so Jethro, it would appear that Timothy has been trying to change the way he looks…he has been living in fear of recognition ever since he found out about that film."

"That was almost twelve months ago Duck…he never said a word…"

"I think he is ready to talk now, they will be keeping him in overnight, but he is prepared to see us all this evening."

Vance had let them out of work early and they were gathered in his room. Tim was looking, and feeling a little better, he had to stay in overnight, but the doctor had said he would be released in the morning provided he had someone to take care of him. Ducky had made him promise to go and stay with him until he was fully recovered, Tim was under no illusions that his days of going without food were well and truly over.

Gibbs stood beside the bed and Tim waited for the head slap that never came.

"Tim, what were you thinking?"

"I…I guess I didn't see any other way…I tried, I really did…I thought I could do this…I'm good at my job, but I don't know if I can carry on...every day...waiting…you don't know what it's been like."

"Then tell us Tim...make us understand."


	6. Chapter 6

Tim stared at his hand, the IV tube visual evidence that he had taken his attempts to change the way he looked much too far. He wasn't ready to look anyone in the eye, not yet. Now that he had the opportunity to voice his feelings he didn't know where to start. For over a year he had lived with the knowledge that with one glorious exception his co-workers had thought him capable of things that still made him sick to his stomach. Now after so long, Gibbs had said 'tell us', Tim finally looked at each of them one by one, and made his decision. This time, there would be no holding back, no trying to protect anyone, this time he would tell them everything.

"Timothy, are you sure you are ready for this? We could wait until tomorrow."

"I'm okay…just need to get my head together. If I do this, I'm telling it as I see it, how it's been for me…you should all sit down, this could take a while."

There was a brief flurry of activity as more chairs were collected from the corridor, Tim was glad to have another brief respite before he attempted to put into words what it was like to be him. As suddenly as the activity had begun it was over, and they were all looking expectantly, waiting for him to begin. Tim found himself looking at Gibbs, the man who had started it all.

"I guess I should go right back to that first day, when Fornell and Sacks took me away; when you let them take me. All the way to the elevator I was waiting for you to call me back, to say it was a mistake, a joke, anything…but you didn't...get him out of my sight, that's what you said...On the drive over to lock-up I was waiting for Fornell's phone to ring, praying that you would remember this was me; one of your people, that you would make Fornell bring me back. But no one called, no one came for me...you all thought I was guilty, I was alone."

Abby reached out for his hand.

"That's not true Tim; Ziva, she believed in you from the start."

He let Abby hold his hand, and tried to give Ziva a smile, but the memories were still raw, even after all this time.

"I didn't know that, not then, all I knew was that you'd all watched me be handcuffed and led away, and not one of you offered me any support...they hit me...you knew that, but I didn't feel a thing...I was numb...all I could see was your faces as they led me out, I couldn't feel a thing until they left me in my cell...then I felt fear, I was terrified that they would put me in with the general population; tell them I was a paedophile and a Federal Agent...I lay on that bed listening to the sounds all around me, imagining what they would do if I was put in with them...it was the longest night of my life, and I hated you, all of you for letting me go through that."

He paused and reached a trembling hand toward the glass of water by his bed; Ziva beat him to it, and placed it gently in his hand. He smiled his thanks and took a few sips.

"You want me to carry on, or have you heard enough?"

Ducky took the glass from him and set it back down on the table.

"I'm not sure want is the correct word Timothy, but I feel we have to hear the rest..."

"The next morning Ziva came, and she told me she believed in me...it was...it meant everything in the world to me, still does. After that things were better, just a little; but knowing Ziva was in my corner, it gave me new strength when Fornell and Sacks came back. Without her I think they could have got me to agree to pretty much anything."

"Man; you should have let me hit them Tim, they deserved it!"

Tony had wanted to seek out Sacks and Fornell many times, to inflict on them some of the pain they had caused his friend. Yet now, seeing Tim so thin, lost in the memories of those terrible days, Tony had to admit he hadn't been as good a friend as Tim deserved. Maybe he felt the need to hit out at someone else to compensate for his own failings.

"I didn't want that Tony, still don't, what good would it do? As soon as Ziva and Abby got to work on the evidence I knew they'd have to let me out of that place. I thought I'd feel better when I found out who'd done this to me...then...it was Neville...to do all that because he was pissed that I left Cyber Crimes...unbelievable doesn't even come close, how could someone who barely knew me go to those extremes? And he's the reason I stayed at NCIS, because he wanted me to go, it made me more determined to stay...it was going okay too, not perfect, but I was doing my job, we were working things out as a team, I was getting used to the whispers and the emails."

"Emails? I thought it was just Durden. There were others?"

Tony couldn't believe it, Tim nodded.

"A few, and I dealt with them. Things were tough sometimes, so one day I decided I needed a break, a couple of days by myself to think...I booked a hotel near Shenandoah; figured if the weather was good I could do some walking...we all know how well that turned out."

He couldn't face them any longer, this was too painful, but he knew if he didn't tell them now he would never tell them, so he lowered his eyes and stared at the bed covers as he continued.

"You all saw it, you know what they did...all the time they were hitting me, I kept thinking, why me? When does it stop? When do I stop paying for something I didn't even do? Then I wanted to die...it hurt...so bad, but not as bad as when I found out they'd put the whole thing out there for the world to see...I had one of the nurses bring me a mirror so that I could see how bad I looked; when I saw my face I thought...if I have scars maybe people wouldn't recognise me...couldn't even catch a break there…the swelling went down, bruises faded, cuts healed, and I was me again…I went home…Mom and Dad tried to understand but I couldn't tell them everything because they'd want me to leave NCIS, and I didn't want to leave, honestly I didn't. I clung on to the belief that I could still make a difference, so I came back, tried to pick up the pieces again. Then…then Ziva left…and I felt abandoned…"

He glanced up for a moment as he felt Ziva take his hand. His eyes were unusually bright, but the tears remained unshed, he was determined to hold this together until he had told them everything.

"I…I know it's wrong, and Ziva couldn't help what she had to do, it was just that I was finding it so hard to keep everything together, and Ziva had always been there for me, been strong for me…I was selfish I guess…wanting her to stay…"

"I am here now Tim, and I am not going away again, this I promise."

"Thanks Ziva, that may not be enough this time…if they broadcast that film, I'm done, no way I can do my job with that hanging over me. I was trying so hard to take control over my life…so much happened that was outside my control, people did things to me…I wasn't doing anything, so I thought, if I could do this…change the way I look, I felt like I was taking some positive action at last. All I wanted was to be like everyone else…not some kind of freak."

Gibbs had been pacing the floor for the last few minutes, unable to contain his anger…anger at himself that he had missed all this.

"You're not like everyone else Tim, how many people have been through what you have this last year?"

Tim gave a humourless laugh.

"I hope no one else has been through anything like this. It was…I didn't know how to deal with everything…I thought that if I stayed inside, kept out of everyone's way."

"But not us Tim, you should have told us."

"And dragged you into my mess…"

"Now stop that! This is not your mess…if it's anyone's it's mine. I let them arrest you, I didn't stop that, and what have I done to stop anything since? I'll tell you what, nothing. I wanted you to be over it, so I convinced myself that you were coping, and your work was as good as ever Tim…but I should have looked beyond that."

Tim's voice had dropped to a low whisper.

"Maybe I didn't want you to see…to see how much it hurt…I don't know how to make you understand...The men who attacked me are in jail, Neville is in jail, but…but I feel like I'm a prisoner too. Trapped in this body, this face…and I can't escape. It...it's like I'm wearing my skin inside out, all the nerve endings exposed, every look, every word, I'm waiting for the pain."

Abby had waited, hoped that he would look in her direction so that she could smile at him, give him a hug, make everything better…but faced with such anguish she was paralysed, powerless to help him. Then it hit her, that's the excuse she'd been using for months, telling herself he was doing okay, he didn't need her…so she did what she'd been wanting to do for months, she put her arm around his shoulders, leaned her face against his and hugged him. He was trembling, who wouldn't be after opening his heart like that? But he didn't pull away.

"Tim, I have no excuse, I'm a terrible friend…leaving you alone to deal with…right from the start I've read this whole situation wrong, tell me Tim, please, what do I do to put it right?"

He put his free arm around her waist.

"This will do for starters Abby."

Ducky was reeling, how had he missed it, pain such as this, how could he have not seen?

"Timothy, I think it is high time we let you get some rest. Come along everyone, you can visit again tomorrow when hopefully this young man will be settled in my guest room."

Tony hesitated by the bed, he wanted to say sorry, but he didn't know how. Tim seemed to understand.

"I really am tired Tony, we'll talk again...about everything. Ducky has my keys; would you get some stuff from my apartment, bring it over in the morning?"

Delighted to be able to help, even in a small way, Tony grinned.

"You got it!"

"Come along everyone, let's go."

As the others said their farewells Ducky lingered for a moment. Tim gave him a sleepy smile.

"I am sorry about all this Ducky; I never meant for it to come to this."

"I know...but my dear boy, you must promise me, if you wish to talk; what is more important, if you don't feel like talking...then talk to me, to any of us. We have failed you again in letting things get this far...no, let me finish, each of us knows we should have done more...but you have to be honest with us, no more hiding behind closed doors and oversized jackets."

"After today I figured everyone would have had enough of me talking."

"Well, you certainly made a very good start Timothy, now doctor's orders, sleep."

"Don't know if I can...Ducky, ZNN...what do I do if they show the film, how do I get past that?"

"You concentrate on getting some rest. The Director is going to speak to the TV producer, I know you can't help worrying, but please try to get some sleep."

"Will do...and Ducky, thanks for everything."

Ducky closed the door quietly behind him, and wasn't surprised to see the others waiting in the corridor. Gibbs was putting his phone back in his pocket.

"That was Vance, the producer got called out of town, he'll be back tomorrow. Maybe there's still time to put a stop to the broadcast."

"It should not have come to this Gibbs; there must have been something more we could have done."

"Hindsight's always 20/20 Ziva, but you're right, we didn't do enough, I should have talked to him..."

"Isn't it time we stopped second-guessing?"

Five heads turned in surprise as Jimmy spoke at last. He'd been so quiet, sitting in Tim's room, listening in stunned silence to Tim's narrative; they'd almost forgotten he was there.

"What does it matter what we feel? What we did or didn't do isn't important any more. This has to be the day we start to make a difference in Tim's life. We can't let him carry on trying to do everything alone. We have to help him even if he tries to push us away."

Jimmy took in the slightly stunned expressions on the others' faces; he was a little shocked himself that he'd said those things aloud. He decided that while he'd got their undivided attention to try one more thing. He held out his hand palm downward.

"We made a pact once before, that time it was to help Ziva. Are you ready to do it again, this time to help Tim?"

Tony had a broad grin on his face as he slapped his hand on top of Jimmy's.

"Count me in, Black Lung!"

They all followed suit, and within seconds six hands were stacked one above the other, joined in a single purpose. They had made mistakes, stood by as their friend struggled to deal with his trials alone, but the days of doing nothing were over; this was the time for action.


	7. Chapter 7

8

They had talked long into the night because Jimmy had been right; after today it had to be about Tim, not about them. So for one last time they attempted to verbalise their guilt and shame, to get out in the open things that they should never have left unsaid, or undone.

"He helped me so much at Christmas, even got us into MTAC; and I wanted to hug him, to thank him properly. But I thought he was still trying to adjust to everything, I wasn't sure he'd want it so I gave him a kiss instead…if I'd hugged him I would have known what he was doing…"

Ducky gave her hand a gentle squeeze as she stumbled over her words; she looked up at him with a watery smile.

"I let him down Ducky…there…there's been a distance between us since I didn't believe in him…I was waiting for him to give me sign that he forgave me…but I shouldn't have waited, it was up to me to make the first move, and the second…until…oh Ducky, I messed up so bad."

"As did I Abigail, I had other things on my mind…Mother, the house…and I lost sight of Timothy."

Tony had been unusually quiet, but he had to shoulder some of this blame.

"Wasn't just you…we all got caught up in our own stuff, I asked Tim to come for movie nights at my place…he came a couple of times, then he always seemed to be busy…I mean he never really did that much with us outside work…kept pretty much to himself…I honestly thought things were getting better for him…"

Jimmy gave a wry smile.

"Maybe that's what we all wanted to think Tony. It made us feel better to think he was recovering from his ordeal, not that he was going through another."

"That is what I find most terrible in all this."

Ziva had been sitting quiet, and apparently calm as she listened to the others.

"Once Ducky asked me how I knew Tim had not committed those terrible crimes…I said how could you not know. Tim was so easy to read, his every thought and emotion plain to see, yet now…Now he could hide this from us all, even me…of all that has befallen him I am saddest that we have forced him to dissemble, and become so good at it…"

"Don't you go taking blame for any of this Ziva!"

Gibbs couldn't let her think that she was in any way culpable for what had happened to Tim.

"I started this, and I should have finished it…I offered to resign, but Tim…he didn't want that…maybe I should have gone…"

"And how exactly would that have helped him Jethro? More than anything he wants the team to be together."

"I'm not so sure Duck. If that TV show goes ahead, do you think he'll want to stay then?"

"Do you want him to stay Agent Gibbs?"

Jimmy had to be sure, if they were going to help Tim back to full health, he had to know that Gibbs wanted him on his team. Gibbs was silent for a few heartbeats.

"More than I've wanted anything in a long time. Don't you see? I have to…atone somehow…I put him through hell, not once…three times…the original charges, then the attack, he could have died then, my fault…now this film…he just can't get away from it…and I started it…You know I hadn't remembered telling Fornell to get him out of my sight, but Tim has…that day is like a black hole to me…I was so…I was beyond angry…and that anger blinded me, for that alone I can never forgive myself. I broke my own rules and set one of my own people on the road that nearly ended his life. So yes Jimmy, to answer your question, I want him to stay. I want him around so that I can show him every day that Ican do better…I will do better."

"Then let us help Agent Gibbs…we've all done wrong by Tim, to a greater or lesser degree, but if we work together, and if the Director can stop that broadcast, I think we can get him to stay. Look how hard he's worked to stay with the team, he could have walked away any time in the last year, but he kept fighting because all the time he knew he was innocent…now…now I think he's almost given up…we can't let him do that."

They all agreed it was first things first, Tim would be out of the hospital in the morning, so they needed to get Ducky's guest room ready, there would be shopping to do, high-protein drinks, easy to digest food, foods with a high potassium content…anything that would help him stop that slide into near starvation. Ducky would pick up Tim's meds when he went to collect him tomorrow, Tony had the apartment keys and would collect the stuff that Tim had asked for. They worked out a schedule to make sure someone would be free to stay with Tim at all times…they had to know he was eating and drinking when he should, they'd allowed him to neglect himself for way too long…

Tony breezed into Tim's room bright and early next morning.

"Hey Tim, I got your…"

The bed was empty, and Tony's smile faded instantly, to be replaced by deep concern.

"Hi Tony, you're early."

Tim emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp from the shower, his now overly thin frame enveloped in an ill-fitting hospital gown. He saw Tony's concerned expression, and tried to make a joke.

"Not exactly Armani, is it? Hospital gowns have to be the most unflattering…"

"Stop it! It's not funny…look at you."

Tony dropped the bag on the bed and moved slowly toward Tim, he didn't know what to say, yet again in the face of the physical manifestation of Tim's mental torment, Anthony DiNozzo; master of the smart come-back had nothing to say. So he took a leaf out of Abby's book and gave Tim a hug.

"Fine friend I've been Tim, I should have seen this and put a stop to it."

"You've been as good a friend as I let you be Tony, it just got easier to keep everyone at arm's length…won't happen again."

"It most certainly will not young man. Let me look at you, did you get much sleep Timothy?"

Tim didn't even try to evade the question.

"Not much Ducky…I keep thinking about ZNN…I think…I should resign now…that way NCIS won't be harmed by all this…"

"Absolute stuff and nonsense! You will do no such thing; Director Vance has a meeting with ZNN later today, let's wait and see what happens before you make any rash decisions."

They all waited, but the answer Vance received was not the one they had hoped for, _The World This Week_ would go ahead, and the producer was determined that the footage of Tim's attack would be broadcast. Tim had almost collapsed again at that point, it had been his last hope, faint as it was; he knew he couldn't go into that studio…he also knew that by not appearing he lent credence to the accusations against him, but he simply could not face the cameras. Eventually Ducky got him to take a sedative, and he was getting some much needed sleep.

"He was just making a start on opening up to us Jethro, allowing us to help him, but this…I fear he will retreat again, and we may not get him back this time. When they name him as a suspected child abuser, and he's not there to speak for himself…"

"Then someone will have to speak on his behalf."

"Director Vance has agreed to appear?"

"Yeah…and it won't just be Leon…"

It took Ducky a moment or two to take in the full meaning of what Gibbs had said.

"Jethro? You…you're going to…"

"I'm going to do what I should have been doing for the past year Duck; I'm going to have Tim's back."

It was quiet in Ducky's lounge as they sat waiting for _The World This Week_ to begin. Ducky had not been at all surprised when they had asked if they could watch the show at his home. They all wanted to be close to Tim when they showed that footage. Tim was sitting on the couch, flanked by Abby and Ziva; Ducky, Tony and Jimmy were seated on various chairs ranged around the room to give the best view of the TV screen. Ziva leaned in and whispered to Tim.

"If it becomes too much for you, let me know, you do not have to stay."

His sad smile gave the lie to that comment; he had to watch this, just as he'd had to watch the footage the first time…

The interviewer had made the introductions, and the two men waited impatiently for her to give the word for the film to be run. Francesca Nolan, so they had been informed by Tony was often called Frank. Tony's contact at ZNN told him she had more balls than most of the men who worked there…Gibbs and Vance were not likely to get an easy ride from her. Gibbs' stiff demeanour was in stark contrast to Vance's practised ease in front of the cameras. But if you looked in his eyes, they all knew that look, he was ready to fight.

"I'm Francesca Nolan, and this week we bring you proof that there are people in this country who are prepared to take the law into their own hands in order to protect our children, we ask, do they bring justice, or anarchy? We have pictures showing one such group meting out their brand of justice on a man they considered guilty of sexual offences against children…I must warn you that the film we are about to show carries a viewer advisory, there are images of extreme violence."

Everyone in the studio had seen the footage before, but repetition certainly did not lessen the impact of the pictures now being broadcast coast to coast. Ducky had called Tim's parents to warn them about the show, but he knew that despite his pleas, they would be watching…

As the edited version of that awful footage came to an end Francesca swung round to face her guests.

"The man we saw there has been provisionally identified as an employee of the Naval Criminal Investigation Service; Director Vance, can you confirm that you know this man?"

"I can, that is Special Agent Timothy McGee."

"And is he still employed by your agency?"

"He is, and before you ask Ms Nolan, the reason he is still a Federal Agent is because he is not guilty of any crime."

"You're trying to say that this man is innocent?"

"Not trying, stating it as an irrefutable fact, Timothy McGee has done nothing wrong."

Gibbs leaned forward in his chair and pointed at the monitor.

"So you tell me, why don't you show the whole thing?"

"As I said, the images are very graphic, and show a level of violence that we don't feel it appropriate to broadcast."

"But you feel it appropriate to drag an innocent man's name through the dirt. Shall I tell your viewers another reason you're not showing the rest of that…because however hard they punched him, and kicked him, however loud they screamed at him, Special Agent McGee refused to admit that he had done any of the things of which he was accused. He told them; and I have no idea where he found the strength to do it, he told them they could do whatever they wanted to him, but they would never get him to say that he was guilty."

"That's what he told me too."

Vance and Gibbs had been so focussed on Francesca Nolan; they hadn't even noticed the newcomer to the set.

She was not amused to have an unscripted interruption to her show.

"And who exactly are you?"

"Special Agent Fornell; FBI. It was my mistake that started all this, over a year ago I walked into NCIS and arrested McGee, because I believed flawed evidence. And because Special Agent Gibbs took my word, we put an innocent man through a year long nightmare…he almost died after that attack, did your sources tell you that? He was left all night in sub-zero temperatures, left to die…because I behaved like the greenest rookie, and didn't check and double check the evidence."

"Wasn't all on you Fornell, we both took that initial evidence at face value, if I had stopped for one minute to check what the FBI had given me; but I was blinded by my rage that children were being hurt this way…like a fool, I believed the evidence without having my own people go over it."

"Yet now you ask us to listen to you, why should my viewers believe you now Agent Gibbs?"

"Because I'm here...and I have never, repeat, never had any desire to appear on live TV. You ask your news reporters how easy it is to get me to talk on camera…doesn't happen. Someone told me, someone who really knows him, that Special Agent McGee only made one mistake in all this...he trusted me, and that's true, I dropped the ball and let him face hell alone...that ends now. If there is anyone out there who thinks Special Agent McGee is some kind of target…then think again. We left him exposed to attack once before, and since…I guess we lost sight of the burden he was carrying. That won't happen again, ever. I will protect him any way I can, and I know the other members of my team feel the same…"

"Are you advocating your own brand of vigilantism now Agent Gibbs?"

Vance put his hand on Gibbs' wrist.

"Let me answer this…Special Agent McGee is an NCIS agent, a strike against him is a strike against my agency, and it will be dealt with as such."

"Are you saying you would act outside the law?"

"I am saying no such thing. If a person attacks an innocent man, there is no need to act outside the law…but be absolutely certain of this; I will use every legalmeans within my power to protect him."

This interview was not going the way Ms Nolan had pictured it, and she was delighted when her producer cut to a commercial break. He ran onto the set.

"We're done with this. Frankie, we'll go with that story on the state visit…Director Vance, I see you meant what you said."

"I told you not to show those pictures Mr Hudson, I warned you that this story angle was all wrong, but you didn't listen."

"I'll be sure to listen to what you have to say in future Director, and tell Agent McGee…"

"Don't…you've done enough. He doesn't need any false sentiment from you. Let's go Agent Gibbs, don't know about you, but I could use some fresh air."

Tim was still sitting open-mouthed; he couldn't believe what he'd just seen…and heard.

"They don't want me to resign?"

Tony was grinning broadly.

"Where did you get that idea from…come on Tim, I know we screwed up big style, but that was then, this is now…"

"What Gibbs said…about you all…protecting me…did you know about that?"

"You bet. Team McGee at your service 24/7!"

**One Month Later**

The team had been true to their word. Tim had been back at work, and in the field for two weeks, and although he was still much too thin, he was starting to put on some weight, his energy levels were much better, and his self-confidence was slowly returning…it was still a slow process, and the team was always on the look-out for any trouble.

This bright morning they were processing a crime scene, everyone intent on the tasks in hand. So they weren't aware of the man who slipped by the crime scene tape and made his way toward Tim.

"I thought I recognised you; saw you on ZNN."

Tony caught a glimpse of the intruder and was by Tim's side almost immediately.

"You need to get behind the tape."

"Oh…crime scene yeah…I just wanted to shake his hand."

He put out his hand to Tim.

"I'm Grady Hicks, shouldn't be here I know, but I wanted to say…what you went through…no one should go through that; even a guilty man deserves a fair trial, and you are innocent. For you to come back from that and still do your job…way I see it, that's real courage, and I just wanted to shake the hand of one of the bravest men I've ever seen."

Slowly Tim reached out his hand, and Hicks grasped it firmly, gave a hearty shake and was gone. Tim watched him ducking under the tape, and turned to his team mates with a bemused smile on his face. He knew this wasn't likely to happen much, but that even one person had taken the time to say and do what Hicks had done, it gave Tim a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe things could work out, and Team McGee could win through after all.

THE END

_There is an immeasurable distance between late and too late._

_Og Mandino_

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